Why Female Friendships are Important

The importance of female friendships has been criminally underrated in our society, especially close female friendships. Why ? 

Somehow it is simply assumed that women after marriage would drop everything and automatically prioritise everything else over their friendships. After all she has a husband and her kids, why does she need a set of friends outside? Perhaps it is alright to meet them once in a month for kitty parties, but why on earth do they need to travel together ? Who leaves their families to go out for a week only to be with their friends ? 

I do. And that’s one of the best decisions I could have taken for my mental health.

Isha and me on our annual trip last year

Two years ago I started this annual tradition of spending a week or a weekend every year with my inner circle of friends exclusively. And life has only been better since. I am not a party person to be honest, I tend to close down in large gatherings (unless I am on the stage, then it’s a different story!). But, what I do love is a relationship full of deep heartfelt conversations, one to one. And boy did I make sure to nurture those relationships ! 

Nobody simply gets lucky over a bond.

You can be lucky in the sense that you found a connection that grew into friendship. But real deep bonds do not just ‘happen to you’. I am not saying that it is a carefully planned pre-meditated course of action, of course not. But just like a mango tree needs nature to nurture, so do your friendships. This happens when

1. You value deeper bonds, and are willing to go that extra mile to walk together
2. When you are really there for them when they need you. 
3. And when you intentionally chalk out Time for each other. 

As an adult, the last point is the most challenging hence the most effective. Trust me, it is worth it.

Life is better with true friends. 

Elena on her visit to Dehradun all the way from Moscow

Of course friendship goes beyond gender. You can find that connection with any being irrespective of what gender they belong to. But today I am dedicating this blog to “female friendships”. 

As a woman, I have personally experienced the power of women’s friendships. It goes way deeper than how they portray in the movies –  that female friendships are limited to shopping dates, yoga classes or hanging out in the bar and discussing hot boys.

Trust me, you haven’t even scratched the surface here. 

Picture this: A late evening conversation with you and your friend, sitting down on the balcony, without having to check in on the kids or attend a work call, without having to wonder what’s for dinner or any care in the world. Just you both, over a cup of coffee, tea, wine whatever is your mojo, and speaking your heart out. You know it’s a safe space where you can say things that no one will judge you for, for feeling a certain way about certain things in your life. And you might just walk out with a part of you healed. And she probably will too. 

So, when did you last check in with your female friends ? 

Celebrating close female friendships is just as important as celebrating the brotherhood. Hollywood and Bollywood must have released over 200 movies alone in the past decade with the iconic Sholay marking a milestone. Both the female leads hardly ever interacted with each other throughout the entire film. Ok, let’s give them the benefit of doubt and assume it was the creative demand of the script that the two female lead characters do not share any bond.

Now, list ten movies you saw in the last one decade celebrating female friendships.

Papari On her Visit to see me in Dehradun when I was sick, all the way from Guwahati

Still thinking ? 

Well, now you get my point. 

And that’s exactly why I said in the beginning that the importance of female friendships is criminally underrated. 

You grow up in a social structure where there is no mental, physical, spatial provision for accommodating the emotional requirements of nurturing such bonds specially as an adult.

It can only change when YOU change.

Only when you make it important enough to reflect onto your calendars, only when you honour it with the time, energy and emotional reciprocation that it truly deserves is when the environment around you will make space for them too.

My dear woman, I am writing to remind you of the power of women’s friendships. 

Reconnect, rebuild, regenerate the power of your community. 

Begin by calling her today. make a plan and send me a picture when you do go on your own weekend getaway.