The Pain by DR. Swatee Miittal

The greatest pain is that, 

of a seed unborn…

of a potential unrealised …

To be finally lowered into the grave of a lived yet ‘unlived’ life.

The mind does a good job of veiling this pain then. Of finding addiction to numb the pain down. 

You will find yourself in a loop like situation with the people in your life who are brave enough to remind you of your real potential time and again. It takes a truly deeply conscious being to see that, if you have even one in your life, let your heart be full of gratitude. For it is rare, truly rare. Lifetimes after lifetimes can pass away before the soul awakens, it’s truly a special blessing to have a supportive environment for one such soul. 

Your relationship with them will mostly be one of love & hate. You would mostly not like being around them, for confronting them & looking into their eyes would make your mind uncomfortable, dispersing the comfort fog away, forcing the veil of numbness to lift itself revealing behind the real pain you are living with, inside. The mind does not know how to handle that, it does everything to avoid confronting them. The mind does not like to be in unpleasant spaces vs the soul. The soul takes pain as a pathway to realization and evolution. So when you come in the company of these people, you shall either want to run away from them, avoid them by hurting them, ignoring them or ghosting them. But if you stay, there are high chances you will be left moved by getting present to the power of your own true self.   These people are brave, courageous and committed. It is not easy to be in their shoes. To love someone and yet be avoided/misunderstood by them for most of their lives. But these fine souls choose to be these messengers, to remind you of your potential, your purpose. 

Who in your life plays this role ?
How is your relationship with them ?
Do you have more than one ?
Do you find yourself running away from them ?

Yes, it gets uncomfortable, confrontation is never comfortable. But growth is not comfortable either. The seed has to transform its being, use all its might to push through the soil to bring out what’s inside, the core. To live its truth amidst all nature’s glory. Are you living your truth ? 

Ask yourself this question next time your hand reaches out to your phone to scroll the media, are ‘You’ picking the phone up or is your mind making your hand reach out in an attempt to numb something that came up  a moment of awareness) ? 

The mind is quite efficient in drowning ‘awareness’ into numbness. 

One electrifying moment of awareness later, you can find yourself

  • Reaching out for the bag of chips 
  • Standing in front of the fridge wondering what sugary drink can you devour
  • Browsing through a food delivery app
  • Adding products to shopping carts 
  • Or burying yourself in making to-do lists, new schedules pretending to draw inspiration from the recent moment of awareness.  Catch yourself. The moment has already left, what remains behind is a copying mechanism to stop you from making any major decisions in the aftermath of the awareness, to trap you in the attempt of protecting you. To diffuse the electric charge accumulated into seemingly ‘important work’ of making new lists, schedules and impulsive buying. They either leave you with a false sense of being living a transformed self or the impulsive spending (often done as a compensation for lack of real required action to alter your life) just ends up releasing some dopamine and making you feel better under the illusion of having taken the step. 

In retrospect you will see these lists, schedules do not relate with you the next day. And soon enough the moment of awareness meets its fate, fading away under scores of diary pages, or into the attic, inside the cupboard, somewhere where the eye does not have to acknowledge its presence. Or it ever was.  

The moment dies. But a faded memory remains. The recollection of the blissful moment of awareness remains. Adding misery in the process, the misery that comes with the ‘knowing’ of the calling and yet not following it. The misery of ‘knowing’ that you are not living your truth. The misery of ‘knowing’ that you still do not ‘know’ what your truth really is. 

And what does the mind do then ? What’s its best at. Veiling the memory by a curtain of numbness, forgetfulness. Everything else (not so) important shows up and engages your reptile brain. The mind does know how to process unpleasant feelings, so it best puts a curtain over them and pretend they never existed. But the body never forgets. The body keeps a score of every suppressed feeling. These open doors for disease and sickness, suppressed energy manifests into illnesses that refuse to go away. 

Emotions are feelings, are here to be experienced, to be lived, they often leave behind gifts of wisdom and new direction in one’s life, to the evolution of one’s being.